Welcome to Heck Inc!
by Glumshanks
Summary: A The Office-esque Company Sitcom, with the twist that it literally takes place in the opposite of Heaven!
1. Chapter 1

_**Chapter 1: Of Torment and Tomatoes!**_

Maleficent (Disney's Sleeping Beauty) sighed as she filed a document away in a cabinet and went to the fire-cooler.

"Yo, Mally! What up?!" Beezy J. Heinous (Jimmy Two-Shoes) smiled, drinking some fire and coughing badly.

"One, Don't call me that! Two, if you MUST know, I'm stewing in rage at my imprisonment here." Maleficent snarled.

"Yeesh, who peed in your OJ?" Daina Le Guin (Dead Space) eye-rolled.

"I'm not proud of it, but the boss made me do it." Heloise (Jimmy Two-Shoes) grumbled. Nearby, Famine (Marvel Comics) poured out her OJ… only for it go into her mouth, making her gag.

"I miss Scourge." Rosy the Rascal (Sonic the Hedgehog Archie Comics) sniffled.

"Would you shut about that green edgelord already?! We have better things to be worrying about!" Palpatine (Star Wars) snapped. Rosy responded by hammering him to a bloody pulp.

"Dang it Rosy! Stop doing that! Now I have to clean him up!" Light Yagami (Death Note) sighed, massaging his temples.

"Yo, the boss wants to see you 8." Wendy O. Koopa (Super Mario Bros.) grunted, showing up.

"Beelzebub?!" The group wailed.

"No, you bozos. The OTHER boss." Wendy sighed. The group sighed in relief and went to see their other boss, Devillina. Devillina was a clone of the Big B (as the denizens of Heck called Beelzebub) who had been put in charge while he was away. Unfortunately, She had an identity crisis when Beelzebub returned and committed suicide, leading her to be another condemned soul.

"Guys, I need you to pick up the latest tomato shipment." Devillina ordered nervously.

"Aye Aye!" Rosy cheered.

"Keep in mind, I'm getting a fire swirly if you guys screw this up, so PLEASE don't screw it up!" Devillina begged.

"Relax, we got this." Maleficent grunted, the gang going to get the tomatoes.

1 hour later…

"We're losttttttttt." Beezy whined.

"We can see that, doofus!" Heloise snapped.

"Name calling won't solve anything." Light muttered.

"I'm pretty sure we missed the tomato shipment by now..." Maleficent sighed.

"Well, at least we tried." Daina shrugged.

"Yo, what're you guys up to?" Shredder (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Mirage Comics) asked.

"We'[re trying to find the tomatoes shipment, but we're lost." Beezy shrugged.

"...You guys have been wandering the same area a few feet away from Devillina's office in a circle for the past hour." Shredder pointed out. Sure, the group looked around to notice Shredder was right.

"...I hate everything." Maleficent deadpanned.

"Idiots." CleoNeopatra, a failed clone of Cleopatra, deadpanned, walking past.

Devillina was heard wailing as she received a fire swirly and everyone awkwardly got back to work.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Chapter 2: Welcome New Souls!**_

"OK, we have six new Souls coming in. Main 8, I need you to go show them around." Devillina murmured, looking over her notes.

"Aye Aye!" Beezy saluted, as the Main 8 went to introduce the new souls to Heck.

"Nyeh heh heh! FOOLS! Not even Heck can contain ME!" Skeletor (He-Man: Masters of the Universe) laughed, attempting to pry open the elevator that bought him here. After a few minutes, he pouted.

"Alright, maybe it can contain me..." The skeleton muttered. Chocola and Vanilla (NekoPara) chuckled at Skeletor's failure, earning them a glare.

"I don't like this..." Calendar Man (DC Comics) gulped.

"No duh. WE'RE IN HECK!: General Plastro (Army Men) snapped. Lolbit mumbled to herself nearby.

"Hello. Welcome to Heck, the realm of eternal torment for those who have sinned." Maleficent drawled, walking up with the rest of Main 8 to the 6 new souls.

"You should know I'll escape soon enough!" Skeletor boasted.

"I don't give a crap. Now, follow me to your torment." Maleficent deadpanned, walking off.

The 6 looked at each other and gulped.

8 years of torment later...

"Hmmm.. You guys wanna know what I hate?" Beezy asked, coughing from drinking fire from the fire cooler.

"No." Famine deadpanned.

"FINLAND!" Beezy snapped, seeming oblivious to the answer.

"...When we say no, what do you hear?" Light deadpanned.

"Hey, I got some lava burgers." Calendar Man commented, bringing said food.

"Ughhhh... is there any food here that isn't fire-related?!" Maleficent whined.

"Nope." Skeletor shrugged. The group groaned and ate their burgers of lava.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Chapter 3: Grab it By the Horns… Unless it Burns You!**_

"Can someone explain to me why there's a fire bull in my office?" Devillina sighed, walking up to the fire cooler.

"No you are!" Beezy chuckled. Everyone looked at Beezy a moment before deciding questioning his stupidity would cause nothing but headaches and moving on.

"Anyways, that's my fault. I was hungry and attempting to cook it, but it escaped." Rosy shrugged.

"Well, get rid of it! I have to go have a meeting with the Big B." Devillina sighed, walking off.

"Wellp, how do we get rid of it?" Rosy mused.

"What do you mean 'we'? You're the one who got it in there!" Palpatine complained.

Several beatings with Rosy's hammer later, the main 8 were sneaking into Devillina's office. Unfortunately, Beezy ate some crunchy chips, getting them discovered. The Fire Bull glared.

"Beezy, what is wrong with you?" Heloise sighed.

"Did you say something?" Beezy asked, eating rocks. Heloise face-palmed as the group ran off, the Bull chasing closely behind,

Meanwhile...

"Sooooo… were you a pizza chef?" Vanilla asked Shredder.

"No." Shredder sighed.

"Were you any kind of chef?" Chocola asked.

"No! I was ninja!" Shredder snapped.

"What kind of ninja name is Shredder?" The catgirls chuckled in unison. Shredder was going to strangle the duo, but got trampled by the main 8 and the bull.

"...Ow." He deadpanned.

"AHHHHHHH!" The main 8 shouted. Suddenly, a staff hit the bull, knocking it out.

"Nyeh heh heh! The mighty Skeletor saves the day!" Skeletor boasted.

"Did you guys handle it?" A charred and naked Devillina asked, walking in.

"Yeppers!" Skeletor laughed.

"What happened to you?" Famine asked.

"I don't want to talk about it…" Devillina sighed. She then slipped on a banana peel, ending this chapter on a classic.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: An Explosive Personality!

An Electrode (Pokemon) blinked as he appeared in Heck.

"Huh... this is odd." He mused.

"Welcome to Heck, the realm of eternal torment for sinners." Maleficent drawled, walking up to the Electrode.

"Screw that! Binny the Electrode refuses to accept this!" The Electrode, identified as Binny, laughed, blowing himself and the elevator's door up. When he reformed, he hopped in, laughing insanely... only for the elevator to remain still.

"...What the heck?!" Binny whined, before he was dragged off.

4 years later...

"So, this place sucks." Binny grunted.

"...What were you expecting? It's Heck, ya goober!" Skeletor exclaimed with a chortle. Binny grumbled as everyone laughed at his expense... before the fire cooler sprayed lava all over them, causing them to scream.


End file.
